Dear, Cat That I'm Allergic To:
How 'bout every night, you come up and curl into a ball on my face and let me breathe your fur in and out, in and out, into my nostrils?
You can stay. You can live here. We'll be nice and feed you and stuff. But I'm only asking you for one thing; STAY THE FREAK OUT OF MY BED. Can you please just follow this one rule? I'll even scoop your poo, vacuum up your kitty litter that you track all over, clean the gunk out of your eyes, anything. JUST STAY OUT OF MY BED. You make me itch. You make me sneeze. You make my nose run. You make my eyes red. And your purring is loud in the night. It wakes me up. So just STAY OUT OF MY BED.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation. Please comply and we may even give you a name.
Tired, Cranky Woman Who Threw You Off The Bed Repeatedly