No Good News

Clustered tonic spasms. Totally uncool.

Past Transgression

Once, when I was in high school, I was asked to play a piano piece at church. So, being the dirty hippie that I was, I chose "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac. Playing a non-hymn/classical piece in a Mormon sacrament service is a HUGE no-no. I can't believe I did that.

Missed Opportunity

Yesterday I got a phone call from Hamburg Germany. It was The Nooch. He's there on tour right now, and was asked by NME Magazine to suggest a photographer to cover a Glasvegas show in Las Vegas tonight. He asked me if I wanted the gig. Or course I do. But, I am not in Vegas today and can't get there by tonight. I'm so bummed.

Crusty Feet

I am an avid flip-flop wearer. I really hate socks so I'm always anxious for spring so I can bust them out. Since we've finally broken the 60 degree mark here, I'm sporting them often. I've noticed that for some reason now, when I'm walking farther than a block in the flops, the tops of my feet start to cramp up. It's really weird and has never happened before. So, yesterday on our river trail walk to the park, I had to take my flippity-flips off and go barefoot for a while. The asphalt of the trail actually felt great under my feet and kinda gave me a massage. I knew I looked super homeless but just had to let it go. My feet got all black and crusty. I totally felt like Elin (love you!). What's with the cramping?

So, it's great to walk along the river so when your feet get black you can stick them into the headache-inducing, frigid glacier water of the stream. It cleans them right up. But what's with the cramping?

Park People

I witnessed something amazing today. I was at the magnificent 3-story park with Katie + 3 friends (this is the same park where "ghetto vest" went down). There was only one other group there. It was a mother and her 4 daughters. The mom was holding a big box of Capri Suns and was on her phone from the time I got there, which is no big deal. However, 40 minutes later, and still on the phone, her youngest who looked about 3-ish, totally hurt herself on the monkey bars. She slipped and the bar hit her in the crotch so hard, the entire play structure reverberated. She was screaming, which made the mom look up, but she didn't even hang up, say "hold on", or walk over to her child. She waited for her little girl to limp over to her and she held her while she continued talking. And guess what she was talking about that was so important. Go on, guess....HER PERIOD! Which was totally surprising 'cause she looked old enough to be menopausal.

We walked to the other side of the park where the swings are, and found all their Capri Sun pouches on the grass. Nice.

Ghetto Vest

Last night at 10:30 Katie informed me that she left her favorite sweatshirt at the park yesterday. We had to go back there this morning in the torrential rain and look for it at the top of the three story play structure. The wind was howling and blowing our umbrellas away while we hiked the squishy, grassy hills. I totally slipped on the way down and landed hard on my back and slid. It super sucked. And I was soaked to the bone.

The sweatshirt wasn't where she left it, so we hiked back up the hill and over to the swings. (This is a MASSIVE park, and all the way east up onto the side of the mountain. You can see all of UT County from the 3rd floor of the play structure. It's awesome). It also wasn't at the swings, so we started the trek back to the car. Katie saw something down another hill in the distance and thought it might be her sweatshirt. I told her I was sure it was just some trash but she insisted. I hiked down that hill as well, and low and behold, it was her sweatshirt. Unfortunately, someone had RIPPED THE SLEEVES OFF!! I turned around to tell her she was right, she was totally proud of herself...then I gave her the bad news about the sleeves. He face literally fell, then she turned around and marched back to the car, sobbing the whole way. She was so distraught that someone would do that to her "favorite, special sweatshirt". She won't let me throw it out for some reason. I think she wants to hold on to it as a memento of the world's injustice.

Cuts

Unfortunately, there's no such thing as a water proof band-aid. Really. There's not. It's total false advertising.

Poo

I just realized the 3 previous posts all contain the word poo. So, anyway, I called the gym and talked to the "manager". It was SO LAME. She was a jerk, and although she's the "manager", after I told her what happened, she confessed that she's only worked there since Friday. Somehow this must remove her from any accountability I guess.

I wasn't calling to yell at anyone or to be rude, or to say you're paying my hospital bills or anything like that, I just wanted them to be aware that there was ROTAVIRUS going around in their gym and that they might not want to let babies play in the toilet. I could barely even express one full thought as she kept talking and talking and talking OVER ME and getting louder and louder and faster and cutting me off. She was so defensive and kept making light of the situation. She said things like, "Babies, like, totally get out of the gated area sometimes" and "we, like, totally clean our toys" and "only like one other person has called about a sick child" and "I totally wasn't even here that day". None of these things made me feel better. I know babies get out. I know they don't clean their toys. And it doesn't matter that only one other mom had called. What about the 19 other mom's who's kids got sick there that didn't call? And what about babies in the toilet who don't get their hands washed or who could have drowned in the toilet? And what about your lame attitude? And what about that fact that you stuff the play room past capacity and let sick, booger infest kids play in there? And what about the brick that might crash through your window later this week? Huh? 'Cause that, like, totally happens sometimes.

Poor Baby Connor

I took Connor and Katie with me to Gold's Gym in AF last Tuesday so they could play while I worked out. 2 days later, Connor came down with the worst stomach virus I've ever seen. It was non-stop barf and diarrhea for 2 days straight. At that time, Katie informed me that on Tuesday at the gym, she had found Baby Connor in the bathroom with his hands in the toilet. No one was watching him, and somehow he had escaped from the baby area, and was having a good ol' time with the poo water. Katie walked him out, told the teacher lady what happened, and then told me that THEY DID NOT WASH HIS HANDS. It gets even better...

So, Friday morning, I took him in to the Dr. as I was worried that he hadn't kept anything down, not even an ice chip. Before I even gave details, the Dr. asked if he had spent any time that week at a day care or babysitting. I said he went to the babysitting at the gym. He asked if it happened to be the Gold's Gym in AF. Apparently, he had seen about 20 other kids in his office that week with the same illness.

So, we went home, tried to feed him more but with no luck. By that evening, he was so lethargic I started to get really worried. His eyes were dark and cloudy and he was not himself at all. By this point, his diarrhea had become out of control, so we called the Dr. again and they had us come down to the office. As soon as they saw Connor, they decided to admit him to the hospital for dehydration. I felt relieved that he was going to get some fluids.

So, long story short...I'm going to skip the details about the 1.5 hrs it took to get a needle in his flat, dehydrated veins and the 6 nurses and 14 pokes it took to do it...and just skip to the part where they kept him in the hospital FOR THREE DAYS! My mom ended up coming here from Vegas to help, and Bdog flew home Sunday to be here. Had I known Friday night that he'd spend 3 days there, I would have called for back-up right away.

We just brought him home yesterday. They let us go because he was starting to finally drink on his own and hold it down, and 'cause his diarrhea had significantly decreased. Well, after we got home, he stopped drinking anything and the little we were able to force feed him all came back up. His diarrhea increased again as well. Today, he's thrown up the entire content of today's feedings and is exploding in his pants and everywhere else. Please bless we don't land back in the hospital :(

Sicky Poo

For the first time ever, I have 2 sick kids. Katie hasn't really been sick since she was a baby, so I've never had to deal with her and Connor being sick at the same time. Poor Miss Katie has a relentless fever and a cough, and Baby Connor has a sinus infection, and bad cough too. He's on antibiotics for the first time in his life. Of course, this is happening while I'm still getting over my awesome cough and while I have no husband. I only got to enjoy Bdog for 36 hrs. over the weekend. So, over the course of one month, we will have had only 36 hrs. with him. Lame. Lame. Lame.

Poopy Pants

Baby Connor pooped a hair ball. A full-on ball of different
types/colors/lengths of hair. I had to pull it from his little bum
and it just kept coming and coming. This is my first experience
with a human and a hair ball. Normally, it would be a cat.

Roast Beast

I just need to tell the world that the London Broil roast beef at Albertson's (forgot the brand name...but it's not the store brand) totally tastes like beef flavored jell-o. It's gross.

Career Woes

Can Mercury just send a check already? Besides all the ridiculously delinquent bills we have, it's my dream to get Ms. Katie back into dance class. We're going to miss her ballerina window if we don't hurry up. Fudge man. Pretty soon she's going to lose interest in dancing on the basement couch. Freak.

Domino Magazine

I can't believe my most favorite magazine of all time has gone under/been canceled. It was my inspiration and resource for all thing weird and wonderful. So bummed out.

Bruises

Yesterday I fell down an entire flight of super steep stairs while I was holding BABY CONNOR! I have bumps and bruises all over me. I am sore. I am purple. I'm aching in places I didn't know could be injured. I want to stay in bed all day and nap. But that's impossible, of course.

And this was after Connor, Olivia and I all hit a tree while sledding. We were jammin' and flyin' and I straddled the tree trunk and am feelin' it today. Uncool.

Icy

I went to help out at Katie's school Wednesday. It's been over a week since it's snowed, yet there was still SO MUCH ICE all over the school sidewalks and walkways. I totally slipped, but luckily I didn't fall. I was so MAD and thought, "How do little kids, who RUN EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME not slip on this 3 inch thick ice?" I'm sure there have been spills, yet there's no ice control going on over there. Not even salt sprinkled down. It was really uncool.

Uncool

20 mo. old babies with watery, watery diarrhea that gets all over their clothes over and over and over in the same day. That's uncool.

Uncool

This is where I should be tonight....but alas, I am not.

Me again

It's me again. I'm the uncool one....again. I love Facebook. I really do. I totally enjoy stalking my friends and looking at pics and all the funny, witty things people write on walls, status updates...all that. But I guess I'm not that cool 'cause I'm really not into being poked, cyber-hugged, planting little green things and such. I really don't wanna take any quizzes either. I'm a slightly anal minimalist, and I don't like all the clutter that clogs up my page whenever I do stuff like that. The quizzes are funny and all, it's just that I already feel guilty spending so much time on the world wide web keeping tabs on everyone and reading blogs. In fact, I've already violated my rule of never spending more than 10 minutes making a blog post.

Also, if I'm not friends with someone in real life, I'm really not interested in being Facebook friends. Or, if I've met someone one time and know that there's no chance I'll ever be meeting them again, I kinda don't think it's necessary for them to send a friend request. And if I've never met them at all, no chance. Just don't wanna...

So, if I ignore your group or your event, candy gram or whatev, please don't be offended. I totally love you and am glad we are real life AND internet friends.

Argh

I still can't find my lost scarf mentioned here. It truly is part of my winter uniform and now that there's snow on the ground, I miss it dearly. Not only is it comfy with a cute pattern and the right colors for everything, it is precious to me as it's a gift from Luchessie. I think I may have left it at Lisa V.'s house after one of our lady dates. Hmm. Maybe I left it in Las Vegas at my rents. Maybe I left it at your house? Anyone seen it?

Me

It's me. I'm the uncool one. I just can't get with the trendy clothes today. I'm old. I'm stuck in the 90's. Every day I have one of three styles: slightly skater, slightly hippie, or very SAHM. I can't branch out. I reject the 80's revival. Some people look great in skinny jeans, some people can pull off the Wham/Duran Duran/Go-Go's retro look. I'm just not one of them. Here is a photo of a devoted Neon Trees fan. I just can't get over her get-up. I guess I'm uncool.

It's Off

Tonights Killers/Neon Trees show in San Francisco has been cancelled. The word is that they may reschedule for Dec. and it will be back on.

Oct. 11, 1996

Shaken awake out of a deep slumber
Eyes open to an old world made new
Poised to plunge now
Into life's rich colors
To lick up life's sweet pearls as dew

Sometimes we fall into the error
Of closing our eyes to friends
Of closing our hearts to precious help
Which their arm readily extends

Sometimes we become the source of
numbing sorrow, stinging pain
To the ones who are most precious
But in all of our wretched self-centeredness
We continue to inflict this torture
Perhaps in ignorance
Perhaps with ill intent

But this hardness we have perpetuated
Forcing all to down bitter pills
In the end will only fall back
Into our own belly to the brim to fill

Hard words crowded into my mind
Then spewed out my mouth
Spilled into the air
And stabbed out her heart

Desolate love only managed then
To grace this skeletal soul
From a once brimming cup
of passion and care
From the one, my only lighted abode

Forthwith then she left me
To my own black hearted affairs
To work my poison devices
To drink this black souled despair

Yet in her hasty leaving
My stained mind sat in blink
And raged and raged against itself
Against its fetid stink

I'm facing up now to the reflection
Cast by my shadowy soul
This grim dissatisfaction now seized
With a new determined fledgling hope - T.R.A. 1996

Baby Girl

Why do our babies have to grow up? Lately Katie has been acting too grown up for me. Soon she'll be more mature than me and we can't have that. She's bored with the work in kindergarten. It's too easy she says. Instead of Cinderella, she wants to watch Everafter. Instead of Beauty & The Beast, she wants to watch Enchanted. Instead of Cars, she wants Days of Thunder (just kidding...I just threw that in there...could have been Splash instead of Little Mermaid).

Recently when I asked why she didn't have fun at a friends house, she replied, "Mom, people change. We just don't want to play the same thing anymore."

And this is how she tells me she's ready for breakfast, "I would like a sunny side up egg, runny please. With some salt and wheat toast with a little bit of butter, thank you."

At Disneyland this summer, I was devastated when she didn't want to wear her big poofy Snow White dress-up like she did last year. I guess it's not that cool anymore. It truly broke my princess mommy heart. Gulp.

She doesn't even look like a 5 & 1/2 year old. I think I'll start doing her hair in pig tails.

The Beatles are the best....EVER!

Branden and Emilie agree that people who don't think The Beatles rule, are uncool. We agree with the following:

"I work on the principle that it's not possible to take anyone's views on music seriously if they don't like the Beatles. Everything else is a question of personal taste and therefore debatable. But if you don't recognize the Beatles as the twentieth century's most inventive, most influential and most talented composers, you're pretty much admitting that you've rather missed the point of the last hundred years of musical endeavour. Should you fall into that category, I do not condemn neither do I mock. I merely despair and, having despaired, I move on."
...Mark Bastable

Bailout shmailout

I'm so happy I don't have TV. I can't even get the news and I'm glad. I have enough stress in my life right now without hearing about all the disasters happening...financially and otherwise. Some one tell me why this can't be a reality....
[and I did not write this myself...just something someone sent me]

Here is an interesting approach. Is my math correct?

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a "We Deserve It Dividend".

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bona-fide US Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a "We Deserve It Dividend". Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

* Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.

* Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads

* Put away money for college - it'll be there

* Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

* Buy a new car - create jobs

* Invest in the market - capital drives growth

* Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves

* Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult US Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it . . . instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult US Citizen 18+!!!!

As for AIG -

* Liquidate it.

* Sell off its parts.

* Let American General go back to being American General.

* Sell off the real estate.

* Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work." But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 billion We deserve the "We Deserve It Dividend" more than the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

And remember, The Family plan only really costs $59.5 billion because $25.5 billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh . . . I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Cancer

Cancer is really uncool. I feel so grateful that it hasn't stricken my parents or my immediate family. We are so blessed. But I'm sick of it hitting everyone else and therefore spoiling the happy lives and times of those that I love.

Photo woes...

Oh Internet, I just have to get something off my chest. It's no secret that I've been desperately trying to book more jobs lately. Mainly weddings, since I do live in the wedding capitol of the world and it is the most efficient use of my shooting time. Well, I've never before had to try and land wedding gigs. They've always just fallen into my lap and I was as busy as I wanted to be. But lately, now that I actually need to have an income, there are no weddings for me. And I know why. It's not just because I'm a mediocre photographer. It's because everyone and their uncle who has ever bought a decent SLR digital camera at Costco is now a professional photographer. Five years ago there was a handful of great wedding photographers in this area. I knew or had heard of most of them. We were shooting film, we HAD to know what we were doing! We had to get it right in camera...film was a serious investment. Now, there are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of wedding photographers around here. Some of them are just plain awful. And some of them are incredible. Some of the incredible ones never even got a degree in photography like yours truly, and that really depresses me. I've been blog-stalking a lot of them lately and it just makes me want to put down my camera forever. It's just so depressing. John Telford was right: Inexpensive, quality digital cameras are the death of serious photography.

Bad Daddy

The other day (week) when Bdog was home, we were in the front yard playing with Katie and all of her bikes. She has one that is WAY too small for her but she refuses to give it up. Branden decided he was going to be funny and try to ride it. Again, it is WAY too small for tiny, petite ms. Katie. I warned him not to put his weight on the piece of crap, but of course, he ignored my wisdom. He put his full weight on the pedals and every spoke of the front wheel went shattering into millions of pieces. Luckily, Katie's meltdowns are few and far between so we were able to talk her out of really being upset over it. He's lucky he didn't shatter her little-scared-of-the-big-bike heart. Dad's just don't listen.

Not yet...

Something very uncool has happened over the last few weeks. I've found and pulled out of my head about 40 gray hairs. I know all you dark headed women are saying, "Cry me a river." And it's not the confirmation of being old that bugs me. I accept that. It's just that having blond hair made me think that somehow gray hairs wouldn't show up so much. These buddies weren't just ultra-light, been at the beach all summer blond ones. They are full-on WHITE! Completely devoid of pigment. And I refuse to start the arduous task of coloring or highlighting. I'll just pluck them. Good thing I have hair to spare.